Hello everyone.

I hope you are all very well and happy and smiling and all that stuff.

I’m smashed off my tits on Codeine while listening to Frank Turners new album. That’s not me trying to be rock and roll. I’m genuinely smacked up on painkillers just to be able to breathe properly.

I stupidly played two games of Beach Soccer at the weekend and ended up back at the hospital yesterday. For some reason I believe I am immortal. It simply isn’t the case unfortunately.

I have been told that I’m not allowed to do anything for a minimum of three weeks. I have even been banned from sex by my doctor. I reckon he just threw that in there to piss me off to be honest. Maybe he isn’t getting any and so doesn’t fancy letting anyone else have any either.

“Oh that is a nasty nose bleed. So sex for three weeks”

“Eh?”

Seriously though, I’m not allowed to get out of breath. I wanted to explain that I don’t normally last long enough to lose my breath. But then I figured that since he was holding a pot of my urine, he probably knew enough about me as it was.

Checking my urine for kidney damage. I took quite a smack in the ribs people.

This weekend I am playing a few slots at The Isle of Wight Festival. All I know so far is that I’m playing Friday evening and Saturday evening. I’ll let you know exact times as soon as I have them.

I really should get rehearsing this afternoon. I’ve just done 75 pages of spread sheets in one day so I reckon I’m on a roll.

I might even write something new. Something happy. Something so not like me.

x